WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
