Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
