What did we do last night that was yellow?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
