I accidentally had phone sex last night
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
