State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize