oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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