this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Randomize
