If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
