im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize