Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
