every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
