Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
