Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
