I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
She said her name was "party"
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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