Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Screwed.edu
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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