I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Randomize
