I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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