On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
