turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Drunk is a universal language darling
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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