So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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