apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
