Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
