I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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