i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize