I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
