Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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