you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
