If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
