considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
