he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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