if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
