so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
3pm strippers are depressing
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
