I don't usually arrange sex via text message
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
