He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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