Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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