I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
My life is pants optional.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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