Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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