I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
