ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
