i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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