You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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