If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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