In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
