I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
