so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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