After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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