Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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