Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
