at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Randomize