oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
