i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize