Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
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