Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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