Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
