New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
