Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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