I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
