I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
no you cant smoke seaweed
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
