I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
