please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
