That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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