All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
