OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize