"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize