we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
