Ambien. No doubt about it.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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