dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
