Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
