apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
