my soul wont recognize me after tonight
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
