Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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