Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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