On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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