fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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