Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Found the puke drawer
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
