And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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